I have been trying to decide what to write about here for days. I have this amazing space to write about all of the things that amuse, frustrate and interest me and I am sad that I use it so little. Perhaps I have a case of writer's block.
To get back into the swing of it I will write about what has been going on with me. I finished my thesis and defended it on August 18. My defense went very well and I graduated with distinction. I am considering looking for a publisher. A book about Kurt Cobain would be popular what with the new film in the works. It ended up being 84 pages only because I cut out about half of the analysis I had hoped to include. Only trouble is that I have no idea how to find a publisher or self publish or acquire permission to use images or copyrights. Any advice would be welcomed!
Now I am all graduated and looking for full time work. Couldn't be a worse time to be looking for work. I guess I'll be a barista for awhile longer... a very well educated barista.
Here is a list of things I have been thinking about and will probably blog about soon:
-Tucker Max
-Angry Housewives Eating Bon Bons
-Confessions of a Shopaholic (book and film)
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Friday, July 3, 2009
Update!
To all of my readers, and I know there are still some out there even though it seems I have fallen off the face of the blogsphere. I assure you, I am here reading Shakesville everyday!
I am very nearly done with graduate school! I finished all of my coursework and even walked in the graduation ceremony. Now I just have to finish that pesky thesis.
So for anyone interested, I am going to post some of my research questions. I'd LOVE to know what people think. My defense is going to be August 12 or 13. After that, you can expect a lot more posts! I promise.
In my research, I pose the question of whether Cobain can be considered a queer subject. In what ways did he perform masculinity and whiteness and why did he portray that particular celebrity image? Did critics and fans understand him to be challenging hegemonic gender norms? How did Cobain’s bodily subjectivity inform his art? Was Cobain’s celebrity a form of resistance and if so how?
Much of the critical work on Cobain’s oeuvre is framed in terms of his authenticity. What is meant by ‘authenticity’ in this context and why are music critics so concerned with this concept? Is Cobain’s music ‘authentic?’ Is this a useful way of understanding his life and work? What is the primary narrative surrounding Kurt Cobain’s life and work and why is that the dominant discourse? Who authors this narrative and what stakes do they have in maintaining a particular image of Cobain?
Finally, I think that it is important to consider Cobain’s feminist attitudes, his interrogation of hegemonic gender, whether he ought even to be considered a feminist under certain theoretical traditions. This question has not been asked in much of the academic and critical work on Kurt Cobain’s celebrity.
So that is what I have been doing.
I am very nearly done with graduate school! I finished all of my coursework and even walked in the graduation ceremony. Now I just have to finish that pesky thesis.
So for anyone interested, I am going to post some of my research questions. I'd LOVE to know what people think. My defense is going to be August 12 or 13. After that, you can expect a lot more posts! I promise.
In my research, I pose the question of whether Cobain can be considered a queer subject. In what ways did he perform masculinity and whiteness and why did he portray that particular celebrity image? Did critics and fans understand him to be challenging hegemonic gender norms? How did Cobain’s bodily subjectivity inform his art? Was Cobain’s celebrity a form of resistance and if so how?
Much of the critical work on Cobain’s oeuvre is framed in terms of his authenticity. What is meant by ‘authenticity’ in this context and why are music critics so concerned with this concept? Is Cobain’s music ‘authentic?’ Is this a useful way of understanding his life and work? What is the primary narrative surrounding Kurt Cobain’s life and work and why is that the dominant discourse? Who authors this narrative and what stakes do they have in maintaining a particular image of Cobain?
Finally, I think that it is important to consider Cobain’s feminist attitudes, his interrogation of hegemonic gender, whether he ought even to be considered a feminist under certain theoretical traditions. This question has not been asked in much of the academic and critical work on Kurt Cobain’s celebrity.
So that is what I have been doing.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Dr. Dominatrix
I had my first class of the quarter last night. Less than five minutes in the professor told us that she is a dominatrix and that she loves nothing more than watching her students suffer. And she was serious. This is going to be a rough quarter.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
On Health Care or Lack Thereof
The health care system in this country is not something that I am extremely well-versed in as a scholar. I understand enough about my own insurance plan (through my father for one more year!) to get by and luckily my parents have been wonderful about picking up the slack while I am still in school. I never really stopped to consider just how very privileged that makes me.
Throughout the past three years I have come to a much more personal and intimate understanding of how this health care system is damaging, destructive, reckless, and just so unfair. I briefly mentioned many months ago that I went through a devastating break up. That break up was caused by my partner's serious and severe mental illness. He had struggled with depression since childhood. At the time we broke up he was twenty seven and had been living without health insurance since he was seventeen. He was bounced around free clinic to free clinic to see therapists and get medications. At least while we were in Milwaukee he saw the same therapist who kept an eye on the medications he was given by different psychiatrists every few months.
When we moved to Chicago the situation became much more precarious. He had no therapist, no way to get his medications and still, no insurance. We were able to get him in to a free clinic that re-filled his prescription for two months and set him up with an appointment to see a psychiatrist in three months! Well, he came down to the end of the prescription, was very busy with school and his part time job and preparing for the holidays (during which his depression always got much worse). This was when the meds ran out and he abruptly stopped taking them. Anyone who knows anything at all about anti-depressants knows that you should never stop taking them abruptly or without the guidance of a physician. Of course, he did not have access to a physician or a psychiatrist and that is why he ran out in the first place.
His behavior that following month can only be described as erratic. He ended our three year partnership, he dropped out of school, left his job, moved to Philadelphia on a whim and abandoned the kitty he had adopted eight years ago. When he finally did managed to see a psychiatrist again and get back on the meds his life was so screwed up that he wasn't able to recover and the anti-depressants made him just not care.
He moved back to Chicago but without proper management of his medication and depression he was unable to hold a job and was quickly evicted. I have been dealing with helping him find resources for the homeless and mentally ill. Last week I had him committed to a state mental institution so that at least he would have a place to stay and someone to assess his situation and (hopefully) medicate him properly.
I have watched a sweet, kind, loving, patient and generally wonderful man reduced to homelessness, debilitating poverty, suicide attempts and general misery for himself and everyone who loves him. And I blame the pathetic excuse for health care we have in this country. If only his five year job had allowed him to work an extra two hours a week so that he could be considered full time so he could be eligible for health benefits, if only the city or state would have some options for people who work $8/hour jobs and can barely pay their rent much less health insurance premiums. If only people understood that depression is cyclical. A person can get too depressed to keep a job and then not have access to the resources necessary to deal with said illness.
It makes me so sad to think of how much different things could be in my own personal life if this system weren't so terribly unfair. I cannot tell you the misery that this had caused me and certainly not the misery it has caused him. Right now it is a fight for survival, two years ago all it needed to be was a monthly appointment with a psychiatrist.
Throughout the past three years I have come to a much more personal and intimate understanding of how this health care system is damaging, destructive, reckless, and just so unfair. I briefly mentioned many months ago that I went through a devastating break up. That break up was caused by my partner's serious and severe mental illness. He had struggled with depression since childhood. At the time we broke up he was twenty seven and had been living without health insurance since he was seventeen. He was bounced around free clinic to free clinic to see therapists and get medications. At least while we were in Milwaukee he saw the same therapist who kept an eye on the medications he was given by different psychiatrists every few months.
When we moved to Chicago the situation became much more precarious. He had no therapist, no way to get his medications and still, no insurance. We were able to get him in to a free clinic that re-filled his prescription for two months and set him up with an appointment to see a psychiatrist in three months! Well, he came down to the end of the prescription, was very busy with school and his part time job and preparing for the holidays (during which his depression always got much worse). This was when the meds ran out and he abruptly stopped taking them. Anyone who knows anything at all about anti-depressants knows that you should never stop taking them abruptly or without the guidance of a physician. Of course, he did not have access to a physician or a psychiatrist and that is why he ran out in the first place.
His behavior that following month can only be described as erratic. He ended our three year partnership, he dropped out of school, left his job, moved to Philadelphia on a whim and abandoned the kitty he had adopted eight years ago. When he finally did managed to see a psychiatrist again and get back on the meds his life was so screwed up that he wasn't able to recover and the anti-depressants made him just not care.
He moved back to Chicago but without proper management of his medication and depression he was unable to hold a job and was quickly evicted. I have been dealing with helping him find resources for the homeless and mentally ill. Last week I had him committed to a state mental institution so that at least he would have a place to stay and someone to assess his situation and (hopefully) medicate him properly.
I have watched a sweet, kind, loving, patient and generally wonderful man reduced to homelessness, debilitating poverty, suicide attempts and general misery for himself and everyone who loves him. And I blame the pathetic excuse for health care we have in this country. If only his five year job had allowed him to work an extra two hours a week so that he could be considered full time so he could be eligible for health benefits, if only the city or state would have some options for people who work $8/hour jobs and can barely pay their rent much less health insurance premiums. If only people understood that depression is cyclical. A person can get too depressed to keep a job and then not have access to the resources necessary to deal with said illness.
It makes me so sad to think of how much different things could be in my own personal life if this system weren't so terribly unfair. I cannot tell you the misery that this had caused me and certainly not the misery it has caused him. Right now it is a fight for survival, two years ago all it needed to be was a monthly appointment with a psychiatrist.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Happy Blogiversary to Me!
I cannot believe I missed it! August 5th was my blogiversary. One year. And a hell of a year it has been. I hope you all have enjoyed reading as much as I have enjoyed writing. I cannot begin to express how amazing and wonderful it is to have a venue outside of the academy through which I can grapple with complex issues of gender representation in mass media. I love being able to have discussions with readers, I love knowing that people other than professors are reading my thoughts, and I especially love that I don't have to be as careful to use the proper academic jargon in my writing here. Don't get me wrong, I love a big ol' hunk of theory as much as the next person but I also love reading the less restrained thoughts of readers and other bloggers. Thank you all and here's to another wonderful year!
Friday, August 1, 2008
Happy Anniversary!
Happy One Year Anniversary to me and my wonderful city! Though I had some major reservations about moving here, I am quite sure that I made the right decision and I couldn't be happier. I love so many things about Chicago. Here are a few:
*public transit- though it is very far from perfect, it is available and fairly efficient which is more than I can say about other cities in which I have resided
*the gorgeous and accessible lake shore harbors and beaches
*lake shore trail
*bicycle friendliness and Bike Ambassadors (and not just because my roomie is one!)
*Music Box Theatre
*Wishbone Southern Reconstruction Restaurant
*Chicago Diner
*Pick-Me-Up Cafe
*Kopi
*Intelligentsia Coffee
*charter schools
*Boystown and Andersonville
*Drs. Ann Russo, Beth Catlett, Allison McCracken and Francesca Royster
*the history and contemporary art museums- and the fact that all public museums have a free day for residents of the city!
*Chinatown
There are so many things but I think the thing I love the most is just the feeling that I have living here. It isn't easy to describe but I feel very independent and comfortable... There isn't a word for how I feel walking down the gorgeous streets of Lakeview at night. I just love it.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Advice Please!
Dear Readers,
I have a task for you. I am considering applying for Ph.D programs for next fall (2009). This is a huge life decision that I am struggling quite a bit with. My family is very opposed to it because it will require a move even further away (right now I am about 200-250 miles away). I am looking at programs in Women's Studies and American Studies right now. I am leaning toward American Studies to make myself more marketable but ideally, I'd like to do both.
My family is also opposed because I haven't had a "real" job and if I do this I won't until I am 30+. I am okay with that but I know it is a gamble. Once I have a Ph.D I will be over-qualified for many jobs and I will be rather old to start a whole new career, which is not something I want to do anyway. Further, getting into those programs could prove difficult. I have never taken the GRE and am not sure I'd do well on it. Has anyone here taken it? Any advice? Based on what you know about me and my writing, would I even do well enough to make it worth the time, energy and money? I am no good at math! Is anyone familiar with programs that do not require GRE scores? What about foreign language proficiency? I have taken high school Spanish and I am taking a beginner course right now but would that be enough? I am in no way bilingual and am pretty sure it'd take years of intensive study for me to become bilingual.
My academic advisor said Ph.D programs typically take about four years and that I'd be a teaching assistant or research assistant during that time. I should be able to get scholarships/fellowships to cover tuition but will likely have to work an additional job to pay the bills. The bills, however, would be much lower living in a place like Ohio or Kentucky... I would have to leave all of my friends and live in a place I am pretty sure I'd hate. And I'd likely have to get a car which is so undesirable.
So those are the cons. The pros list is a bit shorter but the points are much more important. My long-term goal is to be a Women's Studies, American/Cultural Studies and/or Gender Studies professor. I know that I want to teach. I am very certain about that. I also know that I love being a student, I cannot imagine ever not being a student. I know I am a good teacher. I know I am a good student. I have no doubt that I'd be able to write a dissertation. These are things that not only am I capable of but that I'd LOVE to do. Women's Studies is my life, it is my passion. What else would I do?
What types of jobs are available to people with Bachelor's and Master's Degrees in Women's Studies? Could I work at a community college? What am I qualified to teach? I am quite sure I don't want to work in non-profits for very long. I enjoyed teaching high school students but at a college level I'd have more freedom to teach what I am passionate about.
Has anyone taken a break between a Master's and Ph.D? Is this a more desirable way to go? Does experience in the field make or break an applicants candidacy? I have not had a lot of experience working in the field because I am much more interested in the scholarship and theory.
Anyway, these are my questions and concerns. Any advice (seriously, any) would be welcome. Right now I am gathering as many opinions as I can and weighing them. For the record, I have no personal reason to stay in Chicago or even the midwest other than my friends who will likely be moving after graduation as well.
~Cortney
For your enjoyment here is a photo of the love of my life: Jasmine!
I have a task for you. I am considering applying for Ph.D programs for next fall (2009). This is a huge life decision that I am struggling quite a bit with. My family is very opposed to it because it will require a move even further away (right now I am about 200-250 miles away). I am looking at programs in Women's Studies and American Studies right now. I am leaning toward American Studies to make myself more marketable but ideally, I'd like to do both.
My family is also opposed because I haven't had a "real" job and if I do this I won't until I am 30+. I am okay with that but I know it is a gamble. Once I have a Ph.D I will be over-qualified for many jobs and I will be rather old to start a whole new career, which is not something I want to do anyway. Further, getting into those programs could prove difficult. I have never taken the GRE and am not sure I'd do well on it. Has anyone here taken it? Any advice? Based on what you know about me and my writing, would I even do well enough to make it worth the time, energy and money? I am no good at math! Is anyone familiar with programs that do not require GRE scores? What about foreign language proficiency? I have taken high school Spanish and I am taking a beginner course right now but would that be enough? I am in no way bilingual and am pretty sure it'd take years of intensive study for me to become bilingual.
My academic advisor said Ph.D programs typically take about four years and that I'd be a teaching assistant or research assistant during that time. I should be able to get scholarships/fellowships to cover tuition but will likely have to work an additional job to pay the bills. The bills, however, would be much lower living in a place like Ohio or Kentucky... I would have to leave all of my friends and live in a place I am pretty sure I'd hate. And I'd likely have to get a car which is so undesirable.
So those are the cons. The pros list is a bit shorter but the points are much more important. My long-term goal is to be a Women's Studies, American/Cultural Studies and/or Gender Studies professor. I know that I want to teach. I am very certain about that. I also know that I love being a student, I cannot imagine ever not being a student. I know I am a good teacher. I know I am a good student. I have no doubt that I'd be able to write a dissertation. These are things that not only am I capable of but that I'd LOVE to do. Women's Studies is my life, it is my passion. What else would I do?
What types of jobs are available to people with Bachelor's and Master's Degrees in Women's Studies? Could I work at a community college? What am I qualified to teach? I am quite sure I don't want to work in non-profits for very long. I enjoyed teaching high school students but at a college level I'd have more freedom to teach what I am passionate about.
Has anyone taken a break between a Master's and Ph.D? Is this a more desirable way to go? Does experience in the field make or break an applicants candidacy? I have not had a lot of experience working in the field because I am much more interested in the scholarship and theory.
Anyway, these are my questions and concerns. Any advice (seriously, any) would be welcome. Right now I am gathering as many opinions as I can and weighing them. For the record, I have no personal reason to stay in Chicago or even the midwest other than my friends who will likely be moving after graduation as well.
~Cortney
For your enjoyment here is a photo of the love of my life: Jasmine!
Monday, June 23, 2008
National Women's Studies Association Conference
Just got home from Cincinnati. The National Women's Studies Association Conference was wildly successful! I presented my paper "'Money, Cash, Hoes:' A Marxist/Feminist Analysis of Mainstream Hip-Hop Music Videos" in a panel session with two of my peers from DePaul. One of them wrote about Sex and the City as a site of resistance to hegemonic, heteronormative gender and the other woman spoke about Britney Spears and her representation in news media. I am very proud to have worked with both of them. I am also proud that our room was so packed! The panel discussion that I attended the day before, which was lead by my favorite UW-Milwaukee professor, Kathy Miller-Dillon, only had about ten participants. Also, I got some great questions which I fielded quite well and I got great feedback from Women's Studies professors across the country. The heads of three departments asked me for copies of my paper that they could include in their syllabi!
The round table discussion that I moderated was much smaller but it began a very heated discussion amongst the queer women and a woman who rejected the idea of politically correct language. As the moderator I was unsure as to whether I should control the discussion or let them each speak their piece.
One of the other major highlights was that I got to meet and talk with Jessica Valenti of www.feministing.com. She is a marvelous speaker and she recognized my blog when I told her who I was!
My only problem with her discussion is that her and her peers seem to be much too reliant on the notion of "wave" feminisms. I don't believe that there is a clear distinction between so-called second and third wave feminists. The people in this discussion seemed to believe that the difference was more generational than ideological. I think that we have much better terms for different feminist ideologies like liberal, radical, marxist, socialist, post structural, etc. I don't understand why they are so reluctant to use these feminist theory terms rather than the much more limiting language of 'waves.' Anyway, I am very glad to have met her and Courtney Martin and to hear both of them speak.
I finished my paper about blogging and I am going to post some of my ideas from it later. I just wanted to fill you all in about the conference.
The round table discussion that I moderated was much smaller but it began a very heated discussion amongst the queer women and a woman who rejected the idea of politically correct language. As the moderator I was unsure as to whether I should control the discussion or let them each speak their piece.
One of the other major highlights was that I got to meet and talk with Jessica Valenti of www.feministing.com. She is a marvelous speaker and she recognized my blog when I told her who I was!
My only problem with her discussion is that her and her peers seem to be much too reliant on the notion of "wave" feminisms. I don't believe that there is a clear distinction between so-called second and third wave feminists. The people in this discussion seemed to believe that the difference was more generational than ideological. I think that we have much better terms for different feminist ideologies like liberal, radical, marxist, socialist, post structural, etc. I don't understand why they are so reluctant to use these feminist theory terms rather than the much more limiting language of 'waves.' Anyway, I am very glad to have met her and Courtney Martin and to hear both of them speak.
I finished my paper about blogging and I am going to post some of my ideas from it later. I just wanted to fill you all in about the conference.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Driving is Political
I try not to watch the national news because it gets my blood boiling like nothing else. Tonight ABC World News covered soaring gas prices ($4.50 in Bucktown). They speculated that prices are raising because of increased demand in China. One reporter exclaimed "More people are driving in China everyday!" Shocking, other people in the world want to live like Americans. How dare they.
I do not own a car. I have not for over five years. Now granted I have lived in fairly large metropolitan areas, but I have not even missed it. I think that Americans rely much too heavily upon personal vehicles and that this privilege has been ideologically constructed as a necessity to increase consumption and make oil companies, and the governments in bed with them, rich. Face it, someone is getting rich off of this, that is how capitalism/neoliberalism work. The news program also alluded to the possibility of recession from these rising costs. It seems to me that if people change their lifestyles these costs wouldn't be so painful.
Frankly, I hope gas prices do keep going up. And I am not saying that because I want anyone to suffer but because I think that only under the most dire circumstances will we as Americans come up with alternatives. Oil is not a sustainable resource, this is not debatable. One day it will be gone and in the meantime it is polluting our environments and making city air almost un-breathable.
I have found biking to be a wonderful alternative. I love the wind blowing through my hair and the breeze on my face. I love cruising past cars stuck in Chicago traffic and getting everywhere faster than I do on public transit or when friends offer rides in their cars. My bike cost $40 at Working Bikes Co-operative and requires minimal maintenance. I have heard every argument in the book for car usage instead of bikes and my best argument is that I have managed for five years without a car with no trouble.
Because I love this blog and because it offers many practical tips for people who wish to reduce dependence upon their cars, I think you all should check out Chicago Bike Blog. A lot of her tips apply to folks in any city. Most importantly, check out 50 Ways to Leave Your Car. Don't let the mega-hetero-patriarchal-white-supremacist-imperialist-corporateocracy drain all of your savings and your health! Ditch your cars because it is a major political statement!
Because I love this blog and because it offers many practical tips for people who wish to reduce dependence upon their cars, I think you all should check out Chicago Bike Blog. A lot of her tips apply to folks in any city. Most importantly, check out 50 Ways to Leave Your Car. Don't let the mega-hetero-patriarchal-white-supremacist-imperialist-corporateocracy drain all of your savings and your health! Ditch your cars because it is a major political statement!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Kurt Cobain's Interrogation of Hegemonic Masculinity
I am taking a course about construction of celebrity in America this quarter and one of the things we were assigned to read was Kurt Cobain's Journals. I had never really thought about Kurt in an academic way but I felt as though I had an intimate relationship with his music in high school. Reading his writing and listening to his music in the context of this course really made me think about the way that he did gender or rather the way that he queered gender and pop music. It is a topic I didn't even realize I was interested in until this course. I wrote a paper about these things and my professor suggested that I think about this as a topic for my thesis especially considering there is so little work to this effect out there. It would be very cutting edge. Or something. Anyway, I thought I'd put the ideas out there and see what others think. Here is a chunk of the paper:
“Yeah, all Isms (sic) feed off one another but at the top of the food chain is still the white, corporate, macho, strong ox male. Not redeemable as far as I’m concerned. I mean, classism is determined by sexism because the male decides whether all other isms still exists (sic). Its up to men. I’m just saying that people can’t deny any ism or think that some are more or less subordinate except for sexism… I still think that in order to expand on all other isms, sexism has to be blown wide open…but there are thousands of green minds, young gullable (sic) 15 year old boys out there just starting to fall into the grain of what they’ve been told of what a man is supposed to be and there are plenty of tools to use. The most effective tool is entertainment” (Cobain, 117).
I am not sure if I started listening to Nirvana when I was a freshman or sophomore in high school but it was somewhere in there. 1999 and 2000 proved to be formative years for me as I had just entered the public school system from a very sheltered home and tiny Catholic school. My body was changing, my friends were changing, I discovered feminism and my relationship with my parents transformed. It seemed that overnight I had gone from their overachieving perfect daughter to an angsty and rebellious teenager. Kurt Cobain’s angst-filled voice, nihilistic lyrics, and grungy guitar appealed to me immediately. To make it even better his appearance and lyrics made my parents and teachers writhe. When I listened to Nirvana in high school it was a purely pleasurable experience. I would drive around my small town with my friends with Nevermind cranked all the way up on the stereo. I had posters of Cobain all over my locker and my bedroom. I thought he was so dreamy…
When I saw that we were studying Nirvana for class this week, I pulled out all of my old albums and listened to them all again. I even found my old posters! Reading Nirvana in a critical academic environment felt like a kind of violation. Listening to this music has been so intensely personal and intimately tied to my budding high school sexuality. Experiencing that music again after so long brought out many of those emotions. I feel that it is important to foreground my own personal experience with Nirvana before attempting an analysis of their work. I am a particular person with a particular experience in a particular time and space.
One thing I certainly never noticed as a teenager that I noticed immediately as a graduate student in Women’s and Gender Studies is that Kurt Cobain had a knack for challenging notions of hegemonic gender. His performance of gender is at least non-normative but I would argue that it is also queer. Cobain’s body was small and not hegemonicly masculine. His ripped up old clothes and occasional ironic cross-dressing posed a challenge to the authoritative heteropatriarchy that rules American culture.
Through his angst-filled, corporeal and occasionally disgusting lyrics and non-normative attire he queered gender and popular music. In his Journals and lyrics, Cobain seems to have an obsession with the physical body and with the disgusting, the unpleasant and the painful. Particularly he writes about gastrointestinal functions and dysfunctions. I remember being very troubled by the lyrics to “Heart Shaped Box.”
“Meat-eating orchids forgive no-one just yet
cut myself on angel hair and babies breath
broken hymen of your highness I’m left black
throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back.”
Meat, being a representation of a dead body is juxtaposed with the very genteel and feminine images of orchids, angel’s and babies breath (being both a flower and symbol of femininity and a representation of innocence and beginnings of life). Cobain weaves high culture, transcendental religious spirits (as opposed to bodies) traditional beauty and femininity with the so-called low brow culture, the profane, the guttural, the corporeal. In connecting these seemingly opposite things he poses a challenge to Victorian social order that values masculinity, rationality, objectivity and denial of the body over femininity and being present in one’s body with all of its grossness and potential for failure.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Suggestions?
Sorry for the lack of updates lately. I am just getting started on my finals. Graduate school does not leave a lot of time for writing about popular culture here! However, I do get to do just that in my research which is why I am so completely in love with school.
On that note I am wondering if you all can help me with one of my research papers. I am interested in looking at representations of transnational bodies in American mass media. I have written about Gwen Stefani and her Harajuku Girls before but I think it is very relevant to this research. I am curious as to who else you all think might be relevant. I plan to peruse the archives of Racialicious to see what they have written about but I thought I'd open it to my dear readers (like feminist gal and kat) since they have been so helpful in the past!
If the project is a success, I'll post high lights here.
On that note I am wondering if you all can help me with one of my research papers. I am interested in looking at representations of transnational bodies in American mass media. I have written about Gwen Stefani and her Harajuku Girls before but I think it is very relevant to this research. I am curious as to who else you all think might be relevant. I plan to peruse the archives of Racialicious to see what they have written about but I thought I'd open it to my dear readers (like feminist gal and kat) since they have been so helpful in the past!
If the project is a success, I'll post high lights here.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Is Feminism Colonialism?
When I would discuss feminist issues, my ex would occasionally argue that feminism is no different than colonialism. He would compare me to a missionary going into another country to spread Christianity. The same comparison works for other types of colonialism as well. Though I quite fervently disagreed with him, my globalization, transnationalism and gender course has caused me to rethink my position.
The authors that we discussed in class tonight argued that liberal and radical feminisms (or, arguably, 'first wave' and 'second wave' feminisms) were exclusive and dogmatic. They often represented 'women' as a homogenous category in order to lobby for change either within the system or outside of it. The post-structural and post-colonial/third world feminist critique of these feminisms is that they really only benefit middle to upper class white women in the United States and parts of Europe. Making feminism into an exclusive club limits the voices that we hear and the progressive change that we can affect. And of course, it made feminism irrelevant for so many women!
I have long considered myself to be a post-structural/post-modern/quasi-socialist feminist with Marxist leanings (take that!!). But I am starting to wonder whether all feminisms by their very nature as political movements aren't just additional forms of colonialism. If we give feminism a certain set definition and we hold on to some utopian vision, whatever that might be, then we must believe that our ideology is superior to others and our goal must be to sway all people to our position. Why spend so much time reading, writing and re-writing theory if this were not true?
When I write for this blog I am trying to convince anyone who will listen that there is something wrong with American media; that portrayals of gender in media are hurting people and that feminist analysis can help. And I do firmly believe that. Of course, as a post-structuralist I believe that there are many layers of meaning embedded in every image and that interpretations of images and their effects are wide and varied. Still I wonder if my strong ideological stance as a feminist does not mirror the ideologies of the Christian missionaries or the European colonists. In fact, I think that the argument could be made that feminism isn't all that different from some religion only it is less centralized and much less organized.
This thought is really frightening to me because I have been recovering from Catholicism since I was sixteen and I certainly don't want to utilize similar techniques for disseminating knowledge that I believe to be enlightening. But I wouldn't be a feminist if I didn't think that feminism could or would improve the lives of anyone who embraced it.
One of my classmates suggested that we just need to remember to check ourselves. That if we never settle into a comfortable ideological position and constantly challenge our own beliefs we can avert some of those tendencies. She also suggested that we need to remember to see ourselves as part of the system for better or for worse. Imagining ourselves as transcendent is the epitome of modernity.
I am not sure I have any answers to offer here. Tonight my feminism experienced a major challenge. I guess that is a good thing.
The authors that we discussed in class tonight argued that liberal and radical feminisms (or, arguably, 'first wave' and 'second wave' feminisms) were exclusive and dogmatic. They often represented 'women' as a homogenous category in order to lobby for change either within the system or outside of it. The post-structural and post-colonial/third world feminist critique of these feminisms is that they really only benefit middle to upper class white women in the United States and parts of Europe. Making feminism into an exclusive club limits the voices that we hear and the progressive change that we can affect. And of course, it made feminism irrelevant for so many women!
I have long considered myself to be a post-structural/post-modern/quasi-socialist feminist with Marxist leanings (take that!!). But I am starting to wonder whether all feminisms by their very nature as political movements aren't just additional forms of colonialism. If we give feminism a certain set definition and we hold on to some utopian vision, whatever that might be, then we must believe that our ideology is superior to others and our goal must be to sway all people to our position. Why spend so much time reading, writing and re-writing theory if this were not true?
When I write for this blog I am trying to convince anyone who will listen that there is something wrong with American media; that portrayals of gender in media are hurting people and that feminist analysis can help. And I do firmly believe that. Of course, as a post-structuralist I believe that there are many layers of meaning embedded in every image and that interpretations of images and their effects are wide and varied. Still I wonder if my strong ideological stance as a feminist does not mirror the ideologies of the Christian missionaries or the European colonists. In fact, I think that the argument could be made that feminism isn't all that different from some religion only it is less centralized and much less organized.
This thought is really frightening to me because I have been recovering from Catholicism since I was sixteen and I certainly don't want to utilize similar techniques for disseminating knowledge that I believe to be enlightening. But I wouldn't be a feminist if I didn't think that feminism could or would improve the lives of anyone who embraced it.
One of my classmates suggested that we just need to remember to check ourselves. That if we never settle into a comfortable ideological position and constantly challenge our own beliefs we can avert some of those tendencies. She also suggested that we need to remember to see ourselves as part of the system for better or for worse. Imagining ourselves as transcendent is the epitome of modernity.
I am not sure I have any answers to offer here. Tonight my feminism experienced a major challenge. I guess that is a good thing.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
How Privileged Am I?
Got this survey from Racialicious. They do a pretty good analysis of the problems with this survey but I found it interesting anyway. Anything in green is a true statement for me.
If your father went to college
If your father finished college
If your mother went to college
If your mother finished college
If you have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor (All of the above actually)
If you were the same or higher class than your high school teachers (Exact same)
If you had a computer at home
If you had your own computer at home (When I was in college)
If you had more than 50 books at home
If you had more than 500 books at home (I probably do now... or will by the time I get my degree)
If were read children’s books by a parent
If you ever had lessons of any kind
If you had more than two kinds of lessons
If the people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively
If you had a credit card with your name on it
If you have less than $5000 in student loans (way, way, way, way more)
If you have no student loans (HA!)
If you went to a private high school (elementary school)
If you went to summer camp
If you had a private tutor
If you have been to Europe
If your family vacations involved staying at hotels
If all of your clothing has been new and bought at the mall (My mom was thrifty)
If your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them (HA!)
If there was original art in your house
If you had a phone in your room (Do cell phones count?)
If you lived in a single family house
If your parents own their own house or apartment
If you had your own room (I have been very lucky to always have my own room)
If you participated in an SAT/ACT prep course (Probably should have)
If you had your own cell phone in High School (Just senior year)
If you had your own TV in your room in High School
If you opened a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College
If you have ever flown anywhere on a commercial airline (Never! Really!)
If you ever went on a cruise with your family
If your parents took you to museums and art galleries
If you were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Getting to Know Your Feminist Blogger: Blogging for Choice
I know it is a little bit late but here is my contribution!In so many of my Women's Studies courses throughout the years I have been asked to write about the formation of my feminism. I will share that story here because it has so much to do with why I vote pro-choice.
My feminism evolved out of my realization that pregnancy should not be compulsory. I attended Catholic school from kindergarten through eighth grade. With no knowledge to the contrary, I assumed that all people were Catholic. Upon entering a public high school, my entire world changed. I met people who practiced a variety of religions and even a few who had no religion. When I encountered my future best friend for the first time, she told me that she was outraged by the continuing struggle for reproductive rights. When she told me what an abortion was, I had a light bulb moment. Being Catholic, sex had always seemed scary and dangerous to me, I knew that it was related to pregnancy and I certainly did not want to be pregnant! Once I realized that pregnancy is not an inevitable part of heterosexual activity, I felt enormously liberated. That is until I realized how abortion and other reproductive rights are consistently in danger. That is when I started advocating feminism. That moment literally changed the course of my life.
Body politics are a huge part of what I discuss on this blog. Why are bodies presented the way that they are in mass media? It is increasingly difficult to tell whether media influences reality or reality influences media or whether it is some combination of the two. It is certainly easy to see how deeply held ideologies play out in media. Control of women's bodies is a theme that advertisers just cannot get enough of. And reproductive control is a large part of that.
I recently got into a heated debate with an old friend about why I vote pro-choice. This friend was upset when I said that it is unlikely that I will ever vote for a candidate who is not pro-choice. He suggested that other issues were more important, like privacy from governmental interference into our private lives. (It will not surprise you to know that he is a Ron Paul supporter.) I suggested to him that as a woman I feel that my uterus is about as private as it can get and that if that is such a pivotal issue, than this candidate is just an enormous hypocrite. Why is bodily sovereignity only a pivotal issue until it is a pregnant body? Why is this enormous hypocrisy so unimportant to Paul's supporters?
Choice is among the most important issues that I consider when choosing a candidate. I know that reproductive control is woman hatred, misogynistic, and backwards. I trust women to make their own choices. And I know that anti-choicers are also anti-contraception leaving women with NO choice. I know that I would never be able to enjoy heterosexual intercourse again if I knew that if the condom broke, if I forgot a few pills, if my diaphragm slipped or we just got careless that there would be no safety net. I believe that sexuality should not be dictated by the government and that without Roe V. Wade the privacy of one's body and bedroom would be no more. I also see major hypocrisies that even so-called progressive people are choosing to ignore because of their (male) privilege.
And finally, I know that abortion rights are not the end all of feminism because so many women do not have access to even minimal health care that choice seems like privileged feminist rhetoric and I think that that is also woman hatred, misogynistic and backwards.
I am thankful every single day for the reproductive rights granted to me by Roe Vs. Wade but like so many other bloggers today, I recognize that a lot of work still needs to be done to ensure that abortion rights are not just a mirage for so many women.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
The Personal is Political: Getting to Know Your Feminist Blogger
I usually refrain from writing about personal things here. I save those for my personal blog. However, as any good Women's Studies student will tell you, sometimes the personal is political. So, on that note:
I have never really been single in my adult life. Since I was in high school I had a string of boyfriends that were pretty much one directly after the next. I spent the past five years in very serious relationships. (One for about two years, the other for about three years.) Anyway, I am single now... really, really single.... pretty much for the first time in my adult life. And I really don't like it.
Sparing you all the details of the heart-wrenchingly miserable break-up of a nearly three year partnership, I'll say that I am sure it has altered my perspective more than a little. But even granting that, I am facing a real ideological crisis here. The crisis of knowing that I should be okay enough with myself to be single while simultaneously dealing with a tremendous heartbreak.
Being raised in a nuclear family surrounded by nuclear families in the suburbs and being indoctrinated by the Catholic Church and American mass media has had plenty of influence on my idea of what adult life should be. But I always thought that my feminism could outweigh all of that. So why am I so uncomfortable and unhappy being single?
I have amazing, supportive friends and family, I live in a fabulous city full of opportunities, I have a job that I love, I am in a graduate program that suits me perfectly, I am passionate about school and my career, basically everything in my life is right on track. But since he left I have felt like I have nothing. I allowed a relationship to really define who I am and that is something that I swore would never happen to me. In fact, I have chastised friends for doing that very thing and have written about how relationships are socially constructed.
Still it happens so easily. Even though I know I don't want to have children and probably will not get married (at least not as long as it is a heterosexist, misogynistic institution designed to maintain women's subordinate social position), in many ways I bought right in to the ideal heteronormative, repressive relationship that I have been so quick to challenge. I feel like a bad feminist for buying in to those ideologies and yet I know that it is nearly impossible to not to be part of that system, at least to some degree.
Normally I wouldn't do this in a blog either, but I feel that Susan Bordo (whom I adore) says it so well in Unbearable Weight: Feminism, Western Culture, and the Body.
"Feminist cultural criticism is not a blueprint for the conduct of personal life (or political action, for that matter) and does not empower (or require) individuals to 'rise above' their culture or to become martyrs to feminist ideals. It does not tell us what to do... whether to lose weight or not, wear makeup or not, lift weights or not. Its goal is edification and understanding, enhanced consciousness of the power, complexity, and systematic nature of culture, the interconnected webs of its functioning. It is up to the reader to decide how, when, and where (or whether) to put that understanding to further use, in the particular, complicated, and ever-changing context that is his or her life and no one else's" (30).
Susan Bordo alleviates some of the guilt. I know that feminism and romance are not inherently at odds but I also know that I bought too much into the ideal and am now suffering the consequences. Do people actually enjoy being single? Do I sound too much like Carrie Bradshaw?
And on that note I'll say, I am sure I am not the only one at home alone on this -20 degree night in Chicago but it sure feels like it.
~
Not totally unrelated: while I was writing this I was looking up some stuff on feminist relationships and though I didn't find much that related to what I am feeling right now, I discovered this fabulous blog and really felt the need to share. I have high hopes.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Romance Vs. Career
I desperately want to be one of these women. Or maybe that's just an effect of a messy break up. I really don't want that. And I don't really buy into the idea that they are dichotomous.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Childlessness
Not my nephew.I do not encounter many children in my day-to-day life in Chicago. I cannot believe how much I have taken that for granted. It is easy to forget why I do not want children of my own when I never see them.
As I may have mentioned, I am in Green Bay with family indefinitely and unfortunately that means lots and lots of time with my 16 month old nephew. Now don't get me wrong, I love him very much and nothing makes me happier these days than seeing his chubby smiling little face. However, OMG he is so annoying!!!
Every morning I am rudely awakened at about seven by his screaming if he is unhappy or his squealing if he is happy. Then constantly for the rest of the day it is one or the other of those two. I have been popping ibuprofen like vitamins. AND if he is not making noise he constantly needs to be watched because he can get into anything. Because he requires their undivided attention, I have not had a decent conversation with my parents since I got here.
I don't want this to just be a laundry list of complaints about the child. Again, I am his aunty and I love him but it was really great to get this reminder of why I am so dedicated to childlessness in my own life. I just do not have the patience or temperament for it. Of course, I might reconsider this decision if I could have a wife....
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Green Bay Blogging
Still in Green Bay so I figured I'd do some local blogging.
The big controversy here is over a nativity scene located at the entrance of city hall. A Madison based group, the "Freedom from Religion Foundation," called the city on its blatant violation of the ideal of seperation of church and state.
Many folks around here, including my parents, think that the Madison group is making a big deal out of nothing because "no one around here cares!"
I am very glad that someone is finally calling the city on its violation. The nativity scene is a blatantly Christian symbol. Placing it outside of the courthouse suggests a religious bias toward Christianity which is not fair to the many other faiths that make up the population of Brown County.
To make ammends for this decision the city said that if any Jewish group wanted they could put up a menorah. Of course, Hanukkah has been over for a while now..... And that still does not help the myriad other religions that are not represented at this taxpayer funded city building.
Frankly, I too am more than a little shocked that this is such a big deal. It should be obvious that religious symbols have no place in front of a city building.
The big controversy here is over a nativity scene located at the entrance of city hall. A Madison based group, the "Freedom from Religion Foundation," called the city on its blatant violation of the ideal of seperation of church and state.
Many folks around here, including my parents, think that the Madison group is making a big deal out of nothing because "no one around here cares!"
I am very glad that someone is finally calling the city on its violation. The nativity scene is a blatantly Christian symbol. Placing it outside of the courthouse suggests a religious bias toward Christianity which is not fair to the many other faiths that make up the population of Brown County.
To make ammends for this decision the city said that if any Jewish group wanted they could put up a menorah. Of course, Hanukkah has been over for a while now..... And that still does not help the myriad other religions that are not represented at this taxpayer funded city building.
Frankly, I too am more than a little shocked that this is such a big deal. It should be obvious that religious symbols have no place in front of a city building.
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